Part of the point of this blog was to talk about the struggles. But, when struggles hit, I tend to crawl under a rock and not come out, making it difficult to write a blog post.
I went through a really tough time in the fall. A few life altering events happened at the same time. I can handle a lot of stress, but there is a limit and when I reach the point of too much, my depression takes over and it takes me a while to get back on top of things. I had to take time and make some changes to get back to basics.
For the last week, I’ve felt much better. This morning I did yoga! I consider these steps to getting back to where I was a year ago — when I was doing so well!
Isn’t it so frustrating how we can be in a place of doing great and then it all falls apart and we have to start from the ground up rebuilding? I know I’m not the only one that understands this.
I watched two of my dreams fall apart, out of my control. This was followed by months of restless nights and unproductive, napping days, and making a huge realization that in order to get better I have to cut a toxic person out of my life. That meant walking away from a group of friends. But when I made that decision a weight fell off my shoulders. And those who are my friends, I still see. Am I angry that’s how I felt was the only way I could make this situation better? Yes.
If you have toxic people in your life — people who hold you back, put you down, sabotage opportunities, are negative nay-saying influences — you can and should remove them. It will be a difficult decision, but a necessary one.
I’ve been very conflicted about talking about this because I don’t like to lay blame. It’s a negative thing, and I prefer to focus on the positive. Then I realized I’m not blaming a toxic person for the effect they have. It’s how I respond to the things they do. And I’m tired of responding and deflecting. I’m tired of not sleeping and crying. So, I tapped out.
My healing journey is, once again, underway and I’m getting back to basics. A chocolate banana smoothie and yoga this morning. A green smoothie for lunch. Pushing the toxins out of my body will help my mind heal faster.
Once again I have plans and goals that I’m excited about.
If you’re struggling with your journey, talk to me. Maybe we can help each other stay the course.